I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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