Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
