I will die if light touches me.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
