if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
