it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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