IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
