i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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