it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
