margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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