If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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