Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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