Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
