Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I will be naked everywhere
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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