we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
