the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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