Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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