I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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