Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
