I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
