I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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