He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
