he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
