i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
