I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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