When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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