remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize