did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
