im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
