I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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