it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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