wakey wakey hands off snakey
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
