Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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