I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
