She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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