and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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