The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize