It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
