My brain says no but my pants say off.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
