drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize