yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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