I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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