I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
