Kiss
Puke
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
