thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
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we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
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So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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