Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
