The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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