that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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