Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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