there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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