We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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