I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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