1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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