We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
