Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
