i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
