I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize