Are we in a gay sports bar?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
