im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
