I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Are we still banned from the library?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
