At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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