I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize