do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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