Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
