do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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