Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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