i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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